What God Does
“Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea and GOD, with a terrific east wind , made the sea go back. He made the sea dry ground.
The seawaters split”
- Exodus 14:21
This certain devotional has spoken to me many time throughout my life as I have sat in wait, wondering what God is doing. As with our last adoption, this adoption is full of waiting and wondering. Waiting on paperwork. Waiting on funds. Wondering if we will raise the money we need. Wondering if this really is what we are supposed to be doing. When things are quiet and you are waiting, that creeping fear of "is this really what we should do" whispers in your heart. "If God wanted this to happen, shouldn't it be happening?" is a question I ask constantly. I won't lie to you, my faith trembles in the quiet.
As I stand before this giant sea of paperwork, and adoption fees, logistics, travel, money, relationships etc., I am trembling. I can't see the other side. I'm not a strong swimmer. How will I get through this, let alone to the other side. Lord, is this really what you want? I don't see a way across.
But then it happens. The sea starts to part. I am sure the Israelite's were saying many of the same things I do: "I'll drown if I try to cross this!" "Why would God bring us to this point, just to have us turn around, or be destroyed?" I imagine them wrestling to go to sleep, with a thousand thoughts on their mind, making plans of their own for escape - trying to think or ways out or around their current situation. But then I imagine their faces as they woke up to see what God had been doing all through the night. The excitement and confirmation that comes from finally seeing God's plan! The relief to know He hasn't forgotten you. The sting in your heart for ever doubting him. The humility of realizing He split a sea, just for you. The affection you feel that He loved you this much, despite your fear and doubt.
This past week, we have seen the sea start to split. It started with receiving our I600-a approval letter and continued with a sudden and unexpected burst of support for our adoption. Friends posting on Facebook and Instagram about our puzzle piece fundraiser. A friend hosting a fundraiser for us at her house. People collecting donations on our behalf, sending out Christmas cards with our story in them and a challenge to friend and family to support us. Slowly this sea is parting, and we are seeing the path that God is laying out for us. None of this support has been our own doing - we have not been great about fundraising or asking for support, but God was moving through the night, laying our son and his adoption on the hearts of others.
Those questions of "are we really supposed to adopt him" are being answered by the generosity and support of others as their hearts have been moved to come alongside us and support us.
I am truly humbled. My lack of faith is embarrassing. My doubt and fear at times is overwhelming! If I were God I would slap me and say "you get not because you believe not!!!" but that's not what God does. What God's does is shows his faithfulness despite our faithlessness. What God does is move when we are frozen in fear. What God does is show His love to us all though the day and all though the night.