Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The "WHY?" and the "HOW?" of it all



"Why?"  and "How?"  Those are pretty much the two most common questions I get asked when it comes to adoption.  Well, ladies and gentleman, be prepared for the most thoughtful, deep, thought provoking answers ever!

"Why?"  Because we feel that this is what God has called us to do.
"How?"  We have no idea, but we trust God will provide.

What?  Those answers were not awe inspiring?  Well, those are the cliff notes answers - if you want the real dirt, feel free to keep reading.

A lot of people wonder why we are adopting again, especially so soon.  They also wonder why we are adopting a 12 year old boy.  I recently posted this on our Facebook adoption page and it pretty much sums it up:


Some people hear we are adopting again and smile. They hear we are finally getting a boy and the grin gets bigger. Then they hear he is 12 and the grin turns into a frown. The horror stories are told, the warnings are given, the dangers to our daughters are laid out- as if we are bringing a criminal into our home and not another child...
We have talked through all these things, prayed hard about this decision and have come to this conclusion- we will be confidant in what we know, not fearful of what we don't. 

We know God has called us to adoption. We know that he loves us, our girls and our son more than we can imagine. We know that things won't be easy, but that also doesn't mean they will be horribly hard.

We are not willing to let our unfounded fears, anxiety of the unknown, personal preference for space and comfort, financial strain or other excuses be the reason we walk away- this adoption is in Gods hand and he will either open doors or shut doors- we are just trying to be faithful to keep walking forward.

So, we are walking forward with the hope and prayer that we will bring this boy into our home. This child that needs a forever family (just like the other 147 million orphans worldwide). These older kids dream of having a family too- I think of how many children our son has watched leave the orphanage over the years and how his heart must have ached to be one of them- but because of his age and gender (and unfounded fears and anxiety of potential parents) he has been left to be there. Without a family. Without a mom to comfort him when he is sick. Without a dad to play catch with.
So, to all the naysayers- I appreciate your concern- we have wrestled with many of the same questions and concerns, but we know that our God is great and he has set us on a journey, and when he made the command to care for the orphans, it wasn't based on age, health or gender. 


That pretty much sums up our heart on the issue.  We met this boy and our heart couldn't walk away from him.  It might not make sense to everyone, but it makes sense to us - he needs a home, we have a home.  He wants a family, we are a family.  God called us to adopt, we will adopt!  I know it is not for everyone - while I STRONGLY believe in God's command to care for the orphans and the widows: 

Isaiah 1:17 
Learn to do right; seek justice.
    Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;

    plead the case of the widow.

I know that how we answer that call is different for each of us.  Some are called to adopt, others are called to orphan care, or financially supporting families or ministries, or mentoring or whatever!  There are a million different ways God can call you to defend the fatherless, but we know that God has asked us to "take up the cause of the fatherless" by making them fatherless no more - by bringing them home and making them ours.  

I don't have any fancy statistics for you about adoption - I do know that there is an estimated 147 million orphans in the world today. I know a lot of those kids are really young, and I know A LOT of those kids aren't.  A lot of those kids are growing up never knowing the love of a parents, or the comfort of a home to call their own, or the joy of clothes right out of the dryer, or a bite of cookie dough before putting the cookies in the oven.  

There are lots of statistics and reports and numbers and information - it is enough to make your mind explode!  And a lot of people see all those facts and figures and get overwhelmed and feel that that can't make a difference, that they would only be filling a pool with an eye dropper if they got involved - but what if you broke that number down to one.  One life.  One child.  One orphan.  Could you make a difference then?  We think we can.  I know we can't adopt all the kids in the world, but we can adopt this one.  We can love this child.  We can show him Christ.  We can let him eat cookie dough and we can let him wear socks fresh out of the dryer on a cold winter day. And that's what we are trying to do.

So, that takes care of the "Why?", what about the "How?".  Well, this is where you come in.  While we are applying for every grant possible and saving as much money as we can, adoption is expensive.  This adoption will cost around $25,000.  That includes agency fees, travel, in country expenses and legal fees once we come home.  Now, I hate asking for money.   I hate fundraising.  I desperately wish that I had a bag full of money just sitting here, waiting to be used for this adoption, but sadly, I don't.  But after seeing how God provided for Bridget's adoption, I hate fundraising a little less. 

One of my dearest friends pointed out to me that it was a blessing for her family to support our adoption because that is how they felt called to defend the fatherless - it was such a humbling thing for me to realize.  Not only did God use fundraising for Bridget's adoption as a source of refinement for me,  but he also used it to write a beautiful love story for her!  Every note, every email, every card sent to us on her behalf is a stone in her path home.  If and when she ever doubts her place in this family, she can look at those notes and look at her puzzle with the names of so many people that sponsored a piece, and she will see that she was loved.  That she is loved.

So, we want to do the same for our son.  We have purchased another puzzle and will do another puzzle fundraiser.  The way it works is for $10, you sponsor a piece of the puzzle.  We will write your name on the back of the piece (or pieces) and when the puzzle is complete  it will be a beautiful reminder of how our son was loved home too!


If you would like to sponsor a piece you can send cash or check to:
Solecki Family Adoption
1071 Alegria Rd
Los Lunas NM, 87031

Checks can be made out to Solecki Family Adoption.  
Or, you can click on the Donate button on the right side of this blog and make a donation through PayPal
(Donations are not tax deductible)



As always, we thank you for the love, support and prayers so many of you have shown us through this process.  Thank you for being a part of our lives and for being a piece in bringing our son home.


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