Friday, January 6, 2012

Oh me of little faith

Well, 2012 is officially here!  Crazy how time flies.  We are moving along with the adoption - slowly but surely.  We have finally finished the packet of questionnaires, Dr. appointments, paperwork and such.  We will turn all that in next week.  The next step is to attend a parenting class and do our home study.  Our adoptions counselor has told me that there have been donations sent for us, I am so grateful people are willing to bless us with financial help to help us bring our baby home.

The whole concept of fundraising and asking for financial support has been very humbling for me.  I know that we aren't asking for money so we can go on a cruise or get a little nip and tuck -although, I could probably use both! ;) - but it is still hard to say "Hey, we want a baby, but can't afford one, mind giving us money?"

I struggle with the balance of letting God provide and soliciting everyone I know - I know theologically that God can provide.  We have seen it first hand in our lives.  When we returned from New Orleans after hurricane Katrina, we had nothing.  We literally came home with the clothes on our backs, a diaper bag and a backpack full of paperwork and photos.  That's it.  When we got home, our family, church family and even perfect strangers had already been busy preparing for us.  We had BAGS of clothes waiting for Kaylee, gift cards, checks, even a furnished apartment and free rent all blessed to us.  God provided for us before we even walked off the airplane!  And yet, here I am, doubting His ability to come through with this adoption.  It's a lot of money.  A lot.  Between adoption fees, travel expenses, covering our expenses while gone, post adoption stuff....it's an overwhelming amount of money, especially when you are a "pay check to pay check" family like we are.

I know, I know, some of you are probably thinking, "then why on earth are you adopting if you ain't got no money?!?"  We have the resources to bring another child into this home.  We have the room, we have the toys, the clothes, the minivan, the support and the love.  We just don't have $20,000 sitting under our mattress.

I know that the lack of money is going to be the thing that breaks me in this process.  I will worry, I will fret, I will stay up late thinking of ways to make money - then it's going to happen.  God is going to blow my mind.  He is going to blow your mind too.  The financial side of this adoption is the most difficult and most exciting thing about this process for me.  Short of selling a kidney, there is not a lot I can do.  Sure, we can sign up for fundraisers (Like our tee shirt fundraiser with Wild Olive Tees - by the way, there is still time to order a tee shirt!  Click the link on the right side of the page) But unless God moves - it isn't going to happen.

So, I surrender.  I admit that my faith is small.  I am ashamed that my faith is so tiny when I have seen Him do such great things.  But I have the anticipation of great things.  I can't wait to see what God does.  As much as we already love this child, God loves them more, and He has been preparing for them to enter our family since before we decided to adopt. 

Get ready to have you mind blown, future Solecki.  You are going to have a great story of how God provided for you in such a huge way to become ours.  Until then, we wait for you, we pray for you, and we love you.